Saturday, January 2, 2010

NYT Does Tucson

Did you see the incredibly dumb article about Tucson in the New York Times? It appears to have been written by someone who either has never deigned to visit Tucson, or resented being forced by a deranged editor to travel to the outback.

Did you know that "Tucsonians" (sic) are unjustly proud of our Mexican restaurants? Did you know that Cafe Poca Cosa has made a "vain attempt to import some glam L. A. style"? Did you know the bands at Plush are "less polished" than those at Club Congress? Did you know Plaza Palomino is downtown? Did you know the Ritz Carlton at Dove Mountain is in Tucson? Which do you think is a more memorable shopping experience: La Encantada (NYT's pick for "Phoenix-style shopping") or The Lost Barrio and Old Town Artisans?

Do you take visitors to the Titan Missile Museum and the Davis Monthan airplane bone yard? Me neither. Doesn't this New Yorker know about Mt Lemmon, and the unique opportunity to travel through five of North America's seven biozones in an hour? Apparently it wasn't in his Frommer Guide. He clearly didn't bother to talk to anyone while he was here, if indeed he was here, which seems unlikely, given that he states I-10 from Phoenix to Tucson is scenic! Yikes, that has to be the most boring drive in the West!

Plus, there's no need to waste time, money and gasoline flying into Furnix, as suggested by NYT, in order to get a round trip flight from New York for $351. If he'd talked to any frequent flyer in Tucson, he would have known you can fly direct from LaGuardia to Tucson with one stop (no plane change) on the fabulous and friendly Southwest Airlines for as low as $309.

The most obnoxious comment in this completely obnoxious article is the statement that Epic Cafe is populated by "would-be intellectuals". I wonder if living in New York City gives those city slickers the power to separate actual intellectuals from fakes with just a glance.

If we are lucky, this article will deter snobby arbiters of music, food and sophistication from darkening our doors. As Groucho Marx would say, "Go, and never darken our towels again!"

I wonder who you have to know to get one of these travel writer gigs. I know I can do way better at sussing out what's special and appealing about a town, without resorting to lame comparisons to L. A. and Phoenix. Tucsonans love Tucson because Tucson isn't L. A. or Phoenix!